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| Seriously? |
Do you really spend that much on groceries?
First off, I DON'T SPEND $500 A WEEK ON GROCERIES!!!! are you kidding me? We are an average family, we don't eat lobster and steak every night. As my good friend Melissa once told me, buy what's on sale, and what's in season. That is what I do, I stock up on items that are on sale, when asked on the show "How much have you spent on groceries this week?" My reply was "we only spent $12.80 cents" really, how would you think I could do this otherwise. We used what was in the freezer, pantry, and only had to buy milk and break that week. Most people who know me, know that I dislike cooking, okay I hate it, but I have to cook for my family, and once a week we might get take out, or go to a restaurant. There are four people in my family, you crunch the numbers.
Secondly, with the $500 dollars a week, part of that goes towards gasoline, we have 2 vehicles, Joe works everyday, and has to get back and forth to work, I use the car to go shopping, drive my son to work, and go to doctors appointments. We spend about $100 or more on gas, weekly.
Third, prescription drugs, I'm on 5 different medications for Bipolar, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. Most of it's covered, but some of it isn't covered by our plan. Therefore, I have to pay for it out of pocket.
Fourth, me and Joe are both smokers, so at approximately $8 a pack, we were spending $112 a week on smokes. Joe has since quit smoking but still, figure it out.
Fifth, we eat out once a week, with 3 grown men and myself, that averages about $80 each time, luckily we're not big drinkers, so lets do the math.
and lastly, I would go to our local coffee shop and get myself a coffee, sometimes a muffin, so lets just factor in a coffee a day at $1.80 x 7 days a week, that's $12.60 a week. Sometimes I would go twice a day, it got me out of the house, and lets face it, who doesn't like Tim Hortons. So now we're looking at $25.20 a week.
So..........let's do the math
coffee: $ 25.20
gas 100.00
cigarettes 112.00
going out 80.00
_________
$182.20
So that leaves me $182,20 left for groceries, where I have to buy the weekly groceries, and household products like cleaning supplies. I don't think that is unreasonable, and it's probably what an average family spends.
What about the rest of your spending habits?
I'm being portrayed as the woman who doesn't have a clue about money and spends frivolously, on things like purses, clothing, and unnecessary things and using my depression as an excuse.
I admit, purses are my downfall, but I don't buy a new purse every week, the reason I spend so much on my handbags is because I like quality, and design. I love Michael Kors, and Coach handbags, but I only buy one or two a year. I hold on to most of them, which is why you see so many in my closet on the show, and often give some to my sisters. I do not buy handbags because I am depressed. I buy them because I like them, not because I'm depressed.
But you go on shopping binges, how do you explain that?
Yes, that is true. I have a very poor self image, and low self esteem, I shop til I drop, which is why I put $12,000 onto my credit card. This is where I will use my illness as an excuse. I'm recovering from Agoraphobia, and I'm bipolar. My moods fluctuates so quickly that I don't know from one day to the next what I'll wake up too.
This is a 2 week mood tracker
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| This is my personal mood tracker |
I use a web site called Med Help to track my moods, you can go to https://www.medhelp.org to use their site, it's free, and you can track your moods, exercise, ask questions on the forum, and look up helpful information. I highly recommend it.
So, back to my shopping habits, I'm home almost everyday, maybe once a week Joe takes me out since I can't drive outside of my home town. I shop just like people who binge eat, it somehow relieves some of my anxiety and pain that I feel everyday, and I feel really good while doing it. You see, it's not about the stuff, because I certainly don't need anything, but the feelings associated with shopping. You get a high from it, just like any other kind of addiction, whether it's drinking, drugs, overeating, or gambling. I have a shopping addiction, diagnosed, and something I struggle with even today. I buy impulsively, it's almost like I black out, because I don't even realize what I'm doing, and have no reaction when my bill is sky high. I have items, as seen on T.V., still with tags on them. My sisters often make fun of me (in a nice way) if they ever come shopping with us, I get into the store, and its like I block everything and everyone out, I'm focused only on shopping, it;s like I have tunnel vision.
What do you feel like when you shop? Don't you feel guilty?
When I shop, I feel empowered, like nothing in this world can touch me, it's such a high. I don't even feel anxious, I feel happy, and in total control. I don't think about the consequences, and I certainly don't feel guilty at the time. Joe has asked me, what goes through your mind when you get to the cash register? Honestly, nothing, I don't feel anything, I know that sounds like an excuse, and unrealistic, but it's the truth. I feel nothing!
Well, you must buy what you need at least, right?
Wrong. I have clothes with tags still hanging in my closet, when I get home from shopping, I just throw them in my closet. I get to them eventually, but it's not about what's inside the bag as much as it's about how I feel while shopping for them. I don't feel depressed or anxious, it's a release for me, and Joe has even said it on t.v, "if I take away her shopping, I'm afraid she'll fall into another depression, she's happy when she shops, how can I take that away from her?"
So, are you happy?
I often don't feel good enough, so wearing designer clothing, handbags, and fabulous accessories, I can show the world that I'm in control and in doing so, give the illusion that I'm happy. But in fact, it's quite the opposite. What is happy anyway?
You must be in so much debt, how do you pay for it all?
Yes, I'm in debt. About 10 years ago, I put almost $60,000 onto my credit cards, I consolidated my debt., and worked 7 years, without credit, to pay it all back. Over the seven years, I was credit card free, as they took them all away. I went for credit councelling, and thought I had it all under control.
But, once I paid my debt off, I got my hands on a new credit card. Surely, I could control myself this time. Not true, it's become a cycle, I max out my credit card, Joe pays it off, I promise to never use it again, and the cycle continues. The difference between then and now is I worked then, but now I'm on disability with a limited income.
In November of 2012, I got a new credit card, well, a month before Christmas, as you can imagine, I racked that card up to $12,000. I know, you're shaking your head, and thinking I'm crazy. Christmas came and went, the only thing that didn't go away was my debt. This time however, I did feel the guilt, and was overcome with emotion. Once again, Joe has paid off my credit card with our line of credit. I cut up my card, called the company, and am currently credit card free.
So what's the difference between then and now?
It's only been 3 weeks since I've been credit card free, as Joe pointed out to me yesterday. I'm trying, I really am, if fact, using cash is very difficult for me. Using a credit card is easy, it didn't feel like I was using real money, so I didn't feel it.. Putting out cash is quite different, I actually feel a loss handing it over to the cashier, and tend to only buy what I need.
What would you say to someone who has a shopping addiction?
- Recognize that your spending habits are out of control
- When you feel empowered is a false belief, you've actually lost all power.
- Get rid of those credit cards and go cash only
- use a shopping list
- buy only what you need
- replace your shopping with something else like exercising, volunteering, or finding an activity to replace your addiction. (I've just started with my love of photography)
- Spend time with family and friends instead of going to the mall
- speak to a professional, your doctor, psychiatrist, psychologist, or psychotherapist
- be open and honest with yourself and your loved ones
- learn to love yourself
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| You have to take care of yourself, no one can do it for you |
So back to reality, reality t.v that is.
Episode 3 of the Million Dollar Neighbourhood just aired last night. What did you think?
Everywhere I go, people ask the same question, is this for real?
Let's just say that every single person who was involved with the production of the Million Dollar Neighbourhood, took each task seriously. We were in it for the long haul, and dedicated our whole summer to make it a reality. Each task/challenge was difficult and time consuming, you watch one episode that lasts one hour, with commercials. But in reality, we worked our butts off all week to make it happen.
The food fight, what can I say, it was the hottest day in the summer, it was a long weekend, and we didn't bring in as many people as we had hoped. That doesn't mean we failed as a group though. Everyone involved worked, laughed, played, and cried during that week, to make it happen, that we didn't reach the $100,000 mark didn't mean we failed. What would normally take weeks or even months, to pull an event like this off, we did it in a week. The venue, the menu, preparation, decor, advertising, marketing, celebrity chefs, filming, and giving interviews was all in play that week.
The Field brothers: Spencer and Jackson, two of the nicest, funniest people you will ever meet, and they give a darn good hug too, went dumpster diving, looking for food, and even asked local restaurants for there leftovers. Yuk, gross, and what were they thinking? Maggots, ew, gross again, and next time you come over, take those shoes off. Not kidding.
Like the rest of us, we were given the challenge of saving on our grocery bills, no eating out, and no take out coffee. Not an easy task, yet the Field brothers went beyond the call of duty, to save a dime, and worked diligently throughout the week in order for the entire group to be successful. They are such giving, naturally funny, and handsome characters you'll ever meet. Don't let a few maggots, and dumpster diving, make you think think any different. Not only do these young men own a home together, but both work full time, Jackson even has his own business called "Junk it Jack", you can find it on face book. These fine young men have ambition, and drive, that's for sure. I also have to admit, I laughed so hard during that scene, so thank you guys for making me laugh.
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| Let Jackson turn this |
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| into this |
Rick and Kelly Bellamy: If you watched the show last night, Preet Banerjee gave Kelly and Rick a (simulated) ticket to Hawaii, to show them that there spending way to much money eating out. Simply put, if they stopped eating out, and buying prepared foods, they would have enough money in a year to fly to Hawaii. Getting back to basics is something we all need to concentrate on, prepared foods, eating out, we all do that, life gets busy. But, Rick has learned that using Visalus, body by Vi is not only affordable, but a product that helps you loose weight, and it's good for you. I use it myself, and I've lost 20 pounds using body by vi, send Rick a message through the link below, he will not only show you how to loose weight with this amazing product, he'll also show you how to earn a BMW for yourself.
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| Here you see Kelly, Rick, Amber, Greg (the vegetable phobic) and Mary lou |
Rick lost 34 pounds in 8 weeks using Visalus, and knows it works. He is eager and willing to help anyone who is interested in trying. Rick earned his BMW through Visalus, if you want to ask him how, go to his link, and he'll share the information with you.
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| This is Rick holding up his "Told u so" after he got his BMW |
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| contact Rick Bellamy for more information |
I hope I cleared a few things up today, and answered some of your questions. I hope you take advantage of the links I've provided to, they are all great resources and it will give you the chance to meet some of the reality stars from the Million Dollar Neighbourhood.
