Secondly, household duties just seemed harder for me, nothing really mattered anymore, but after a while, I realized that I needed to keep an orderly home, one that would give a sense of calm and serenity for Joe. I didn't want him to worry about anything, so I started with outside chores like mowing the lawn, flower gardens, taking out the garbage and recycling bins, because things just needed to get done. The boys luckily helped a lot, but most of it fell on me, which is okay, I would do anything to take the burden off my husband.
Then I tried to calm the chaos inside the home, starting with my filing system, it's important to have easy access to important information. You'd be surprized with the amount of paper work required for insurance purposes, doctor visits, medication, and household files that you will need.
During this process, I was in panic mode, I wanted everything to be in order so Joe would have some peace and serenity in an otherwise disorganized home. All the drawers and cupboards were organized, missing lids, containers, were thrown out, things I haven't used were donated, which allowed easy access and less clutter to be a part of our lives.
Healthy eating, bring on the kale! Clean eating became our new style which included, low sugar if any, no salt, organic vegetables and meat. Trust me on this one, I had to really research clean eating, but the internet is a great source of information, so I won't bore you will the details. I will let you know that it's expensive! and with Joe on S&A, we had to go into our savings. Buy what's in season, you don't need to eat meat everyday, and local farms are an excellent venue for fruits and vegetables. The health food store became our second home for a while, especially during the wait time to see an oncologist. We researched everything on the web, and purchased anything from exotic teas, high antioxidant juices, shark cartilage, and other strange concoctions in order to prepare Joe's body for the chemo drugs. Once we got into the oncologist, we were told to stop everything like that in case it interfered with the treatment. We still felt good doing it though, we believe that having a healthy body prepared Joe for the harsh side affects of the drug. However, I am not suggesting to anyone to try these, please consult your health care professional first. We even got rid of our microwave, well to be honest, we moved it too the basement, but we never looked back! Figuring all the radiation isn't good for anyone, especially someone with health issues. Everything I prepared was made fresh, which of course is more time consuming, so I suggest to take time management seriously. What you do on a normal day will take longer, everything required a lot of prep time, so plan your meals in advance.
I stopped using any kind of sprays or disinfectants in our home, they're simply not good for you or the environment. I now use vinegar and water for most surfaces, even using a faux leather cloth to dust, does wonders. The only thing I used bleach for was the toilet, and the reason for that was the chemo drugs are toxic to anyone cleaning the bathrooms. (as told to me by the hospital), so I had to make sure it was properly disinfected for everyone's benefit.
I even went as far as using only organic shampoo, conditioners, and body soap. You'd be amazed at what the body absorbs from all the chemicals used on your body, and in your environment. I don't even use candles anymore, as they too release toxins into the air.
Sleep, Joe is always fatigued, so sleeping was very important for his well being. Me on the other hand, due to my own health issues, found it very difficult to sleep. I was beginning to feel run down from exhaustion, stress, (depression, anxiety, and constant panic attacks) so I made an appointment with my family doctor. She increased my medications, the ones I already take, so I could sleep. As a caretaker, you often forget about yourself. I can't stress this enough, keep care of yourself. If you become exhausted, you're no good to anyone.
Exercise, eat right, meditate, listen to music, what ever makes you feel good, do it. You have to keep up your energy to fight the good fight with your loved one. Getting enough sleep falls into that category too. I love yoga, so practising as often as I can really clears my mind, getting outdoors, reading a good book, takes you into a place where you don't have to think about reality for a while. Be good to yourself!
