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Prior to filming, I talked to my Psychotherapist about joining this reality series, his views were quite concerning, and thought I would get worse before the end of taping, and didn't recommend it. I went against his recommendation and decided that my story could help others understand what someone with major depression, anxiety, and panic disorder goes through on a daily basis. I also thought that I could help others who were going through the same thing, a different perspective, give them some hope for tomorrow, courage to go on, and a future with possibilities.
If you miss an episode, don't worry, there are repeats throughout the week.
A few of us met up this evening to watch the premier. The show airs each Sunday on the OWN network at 8 p.m
The Good (getting out of debt) Sale
On the first episode on the Million Dollar Neighbourhood, 100 families are given the challenge by first taking our credit cards and putting them into a safety deposit box. We were not allowed to use our cards for the duration of the show, and would have to answer to our money monitor (another participant) if we used them. This was particularly difficult for me as I use my my cards as a crutch, as a diagnosed shopaholic, spending money on my card was easy. I wasn't using physical cash, so it didn't hurt as much. Using a credit card felt like I wasn't paying for anything at all. At one point in my life, I managed to get $60,000 in debt, simply by using credit cards. I went for credit counselling, and consolidated my debt. It took 7 years, without credit, to pay them back. When I finally payed everything back, it took a while before a bank allowed me another card, but I did eventually get new ones. I would go on shopping binges, buying designer handbags, clothing, and household items I didn't need. As a result, I put another $12,000 on credit, and finally realized I needed help.
Not using my card allowed me to see the damage I was creating, and how this impacted my family.
We were also given the challenge of earning $100,000 collectively by selling items in our home that we didn't need in the Good (getting out of debt) sale. Our host, Dr.Joti Samra, came to our home and asked me to sell my handbags, among other things. I was hesitant at first because they were like my trophies, each represented a time of freedom from my fears, and each had a story to tell, a time that allowed me to get out of my home. I began to realize that the handbags were just things, and that is was me who had the story, and me who had the strength and courage to go out of my comfort zone. During filming, I experienced many panic attacks, not because they wanted to sell my bags, but because I was giving a part of myself that I felt I could control. Shopping gave me a sense of power and control, something I lost during my illness. It was through Dr. Joti Samra's encouragement and expertise, that I was able to complete this task by bringing in over $1200. during the good sale.
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Dr. Joti Samra
During the Good Sale, I had a difficult time, there were so many people! It was like I was living my worst nightmare. Although I had my Mom, sisters, Son, and Joe with me for support, I just felt so alone. The people were just walking by me like a blur, I couldn't take it anymore, and tried to find a place to collect myself. I was sitting under a tree, having a major panic attack when all of a sudden, I was surrounded by camera's, directors, and crew, capturing my fear. Joe is very protective of me, and asked them to stop filming. However, I felt it necessary for them to capture it in order to bring this illness to light, to make it real for the viewers. Remember, my purpose and intention for this show was to help others with the same condition, to bring awareness, and to help families with those suffering from depression, anxiety, and panic attacks understand what someone goes through. Joe was talking me through it, and our host Preet Banerjee was there, asking me what was happening. On television, you here Preet telling me to take all the time I need. What you don't see is the encouraging words, concern, and understanding he showed me, Preet stayed with me for quite some time (that part is on the editing floor) before telling me to take all the time I needed.
Preet Banerjee
The first episode was a success, we made our goal of $100,000 and one family, Michelle and Tony Morrison, were awarded with $10,000.
Here are some never before seen, candid shots form the good sale.
The directors, James, Jeanette, and Kim
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Helloooooooooo
Tune in next Sunday at 8 p.m to see episode 2 from the Million Dollar Neighbourhood. Will we make it for another week? What is our next challenge? Watch and find out!
