When it rains.......go to the beach

When it rains, it's cleansing, nourishing, and fresh, however, when I'm depressed, it reminds me of all the tears I wish I could allow to fall. There are some days that my mind is consumed by life's struggles, they are so deep, hidden from everyone including myself. When Joe asks me what's the matter? I usually reply by saying "I'm just tired", but really, what I want to say is "sometimes I can't handle this" "sometimes I just need someone to take care of me" I so tired, mentally, emotionally, and physically, yet I can't relax, sleep, or stop the thoughts from coming.

So what do I do when I feel like this? I get into the car, say that I have some errands to run, head off to get a coffee, and sit at the beach. There's something about the sounds of the waves, the quiet, watching the birds that allows me some time to refocus, to pray, and to just be still. It's hard to explain how overwhelmed I feel sometimes, but just getting out to be alone is my only way to release some of this anxiety and stress. I watch the water, and just listen to the waves, the birds chirping, feel the sand between my toes, and much to my surprise, it's usually quiet.

No one knows that I'm here, I usually don't say. This is my

place of peace.

I don't have to listen to why I didn't to this, or why I did that, that I've done something wrong, or spent too much money. No one talks to me here, no one complains, there's no arguing, it's me and mother nature. So I will keep this to myself, once again. Fighting my fight, alone.