.jpg)
I went to see my psychotherapist today, he gave me a form to fill out called the Beck depression inventory. It is a series of 21 questions, which measures the intensity, severity, and depth of depression. Each question is designed to assess a specific symptom that is common among people suffering from depression.
Read more: http://www.minddisorders.com/A-Br/Beck-Depression-Inventory.html#ixzz2Mb6guoJ7
Once you are finished answering the questions, the doctor evaluates it with a score.
0-9: minimal depression
10-18: mild depression
19-29: moderate depression
30-63: severe depression
I scored 40, meaning that I'm in a severe depression.
I haven't felt like myself lately, I'm so tired,I sit on the couch knowing what I have to do, but just too tired to get up, I usually go back to bed. I feel restless, anxious most of the day, I've lost interest in things that I used to enjoy, like shopping, going out with friends, crafts, even going to church. I did manage to go out to a service last night, but during the service I just felt so fatigued. I just feel like I've hit rock bottom again, and it's draining.
So now what? Well, I have to wait for my antidepressants to kick in for one, but most important, I have to practice cognitive behaviour therapy (CTB), this helps you become aware of negative thinking, and change the way you respond to things in a more effective way.
Another thing the doctor wants me to do is set a routine. Set my alarm clock, so I get up each morning at the same time. Have breakfast, something that I never do, and to pace myself. Take breaks, but keep focused on my day to day living. Not everything has to be done today, but to keep in mind that I should do things just for me. Exercise, even 20 minutes a day will not only help me emotionally, but physically too, I will gain a better self esteem. Use my light therapy everyday, for at least an hour, which will give me time to read, write my blog, or converse with my friends on face book.
Most important, don't be afraid to ask for help! I've been here before, and I know I can get through this again, but I am fortunate to have an amazing support team. If you're reading this and are feeling depressed, go to the doctors, seek help, people understand. If you're feeling suicidal, call 911 or go to your nearest hospital. There is help, and you won't feel like this forever, tomorrow is another day, never give up!
